Beginning my digital detox

Ocean Beach, San Francisco. By Alex Blau.

The world outside our screens is amazing. We deserve to feel it all.

I just began a 30-day digital detox, during which I will use my phone and computer much less — and much more deliberately. My aim is to reset my relationship with technology: to make my devices work for me, rather than the other way around.

One of the beautiful things about coaching — both being a professional coach, and working with a coach of my own — is that I think a lot about attention. Where do we put our focus? Our time? Our energy? Our bodies? For me, the answers to those questions far too often involve staring at a screen.

That feeling of obligation — staying connected at all costs — was a big driver of the burnout I’ve written about before. The pull of my devices has lessened, but it’s never gone away. I still pick up my phone out of habit far too often.

Truth is, I’d much rather stare into the eyes of another human: my wife, my 11-year-old son, my good friends, my coaching clients, the person ringing me up at the grocery store. Maybe I’m getting more sentimental in my mid-40s. Or maybe it’s wisdom. Either way, I’m growing more aware every day of how precious conversation is. And how much I appreciate the quiet moments when I don’t pick up a device but listen, instead, to my own thoughts and make connections I wouldn’t otherwise.

I miss so much when I’m lost in another Facebook post. Another email. Another podcast. Another sports score. Another text message. Another Trump news story.

The antidote to distraction is intention. I recently read Cal Newport’s new book, “Digital Minimalism,” and I’m going to try the method he recommends: take a strict 30-day break from any technology you deem “optional”; use all the extra time and quiet you now have to figure out what really matters to you; then, at the end, reintroduce only technology that directly supports something you deeply value. He writes:

“The goal is not to simply give yourself a break from technology, but to instead spark a permanent transformation of your digital life. The detoxing is merely a step that supports this transformation.”

Practically speaking, that means I will disable all notifications except phone calls and calendar reminders; check email and text messages only during a few pre-set times each day; eliminate mindless web surfing; take a hiatus from Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram; and use the Freedom software program, which blocks access to specific programs, to keep me honest. This all sounds terrifying, mostly in a good way.

I plan to use my newfound time to hang out with people I like, take walks in the woods, read books, grow my coaching business, train more with my masters swim team, explore some new hobbies, and write in my journal. I hope to share some of my writing when I’m done — maybe on social media, if I can find a way that supports my values.

If you’d like to offer words of encouragement, share your own experiences with trying a digital detox, or simply ask what the heck I’m thinking, I’d love to hear from you! Just not via social media. Email me, and we’ll plan one of those old-fashioned kinds of conversations: face to face. I bet your eyes are amazing.